Avatars and love. I made this joke at the beginning so I’m going to finish it off.
That’s my girlfriend in New York City. Even I got a girlfriend one of these days, so all of you have a chance. She loves Sex in the City, and when we went to New York City, she had this interesting moment where she was at a nail salon and some guy came by, like, two or three times, kept walking by. And then came in and asked for her number.
She said it was like a movie moment. She said no. That’s what she tells me, I believe her. But she said no, and she was like, “But he was so handsome, it was like “a New York City movie moment. “But I said no, because, honey, I’m just for you.”
I said, “Okay, I appreciate that.” But she was, like, on cloud nine for, like, the rest of the evening, so I benefited from that. But it was so interesting because she got her movie moment, something that she’s been watching on TV.
She’d finally been to Manhattan even though she’s a flight attendant, she finally got to go there, and it was New Year’s eve, and she finally got her movie moment, and it just made her weekend.
Thanks to that guy. I hope he didn’t get her number, but I trust her. Think about your avatar as a relationship. It’s a romantic relationship without the benefits of a romantic relationship, I hope.
It’s not good for business. But, it is a relationship. Because if you’re treating your customer as the obstacle to your Ferrari and your mansion on the sea.
Because you’ve got the world’s greatest product. And you need to prove to everyone that you’re the smartest person in the world for inventing that product, you’re not going to get there.
If you treat your customer like a person that you care about, that you actually try and understand, and think about if you actually applied what I just talked about on the empathy map to your spouse. Do an empathy map on her. Or, like, just sit down and listen to her one day.
Think about that. This isn’t just about marketing. Everything in life is about transaction. Everything in life, war, I’ve seen it in war, politics, diplomacy, peace, everything, is about selling. To Sell is Human, a book by Daniel Pink, talks about that.
To Sell is Human is a really interesting book, just basically makes the argument that everything in life is an argument, not an argument, but a sales transaction.
It’s not a bad thing, that’s the way things are, especially if you raise kids. So my last question to you, this is a picture from an early morning coffee run on one of my camps in Boulder, Colorado, from my last business, the Triathlon business.
My question to you is, at the end of the day, I’m going to ask you, are you in love with your avatar? In a platonic sense, non-weird sense. Because I was not.
I have all kinds of reasons why my last business went down, but if I’m really honest with myself, I was just in the wrong business. I didn’t want to make it work. I tried, I worked really hard, I told myself I wanted to make it work, I acted like I wanted to make it work, but I self-sabotaged.
And truly believe that that’s the real reason the business went down, is, I was in the wrong business in the first place. I didn’t want to serve them for the rest of my life, I just wanted to make enough money so I could move on to do what I really wanted to do.
You really need to think about that in this session, as you’re going through this today, is, would I hang out with this person, and enjoy it, for free? Because usually, in business, you just hang out with people for free, or pay to hang out with people, if you lose money. Or if you make no money, your time’s valuable.
So that’s the last question I want to leave you with. At the end of the day, ask yourself, “Do I love this avatar? “Do I love what I’m doing?” because, ultimately, I think, personally, life is too short to work on something that you’re not absolutely passionate about.
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